you know, it just felt sooo good i had to do it again
1. bees-ok, i am allergic and will probably die if you bastards sting me, so please, please leave the hive you have created under my balcony. this white girl needs a tan and you are screwing it up.
2. pete wentz-i just had to, again.
3. my ex-boyfriend's mother-seriously lady, you are freud 101 when it comes to emasculating, overbearing mothers. stop paying his rent, stop calling him every 5 minutes, stop getting between him and every girl he gets (or tries to) be with. he is almost 40. and he's the only one of your children that still talks to you. i will see you in hell.
4. bunnies-not cute. you are usless creatures, along with guinea pigs, hamsters, etc. oh, but you are delicious in stew. see, when you bit me on my 11 year old boob years ago, i have HATED your kind ever since.
5. squirrels-stay out of my garden!!! i used to feed your sorry asses peanuts in the winter so you wouldn't starve, respect me.
6. manny ramirez-you, sir, are one big asshole. single-handedly responsible for baseball players wearing enormous uniforms now. what??? you are no trendsetter. i want tight pants on ballplayers. tight, get it??
7. my downstairs neighbor-i love dogs, lady, but really hate yours. do you really let them crap in your apartment?? it sure smells like it. lysol does not cover all evils. oh, and p.s. i totally respect the fact that your man is in the military and all, but he has been home for months!!!! take down the welcome home sign before i do.
8. ups-ok, your drivers are always totally hot, but leaving that little tag on my window is just not trying. i didn't hear you ring the buzzer.
9. terrorists-there is no god, you fucking morons. dead is dead. your efforts are all in vain. let us have the world peace we so desperately strive for.
10. the casino bus to atlantic city-look, greyhound or nj transit, please set your standards higher. i need this bus to visit my peeps in ac, and getting my money back is an awesome deal. but your are one nasty ass ride.
too funny girl...
ReplyDeleteHahaha!!! Excellent list.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great list! I hate Pete Wentz too...who woulda thought we have something incommon other thanDog? ;)
ReplyDeleteIf you put pete on the list, then you gotta add Asshole, jis wife. then you kinda gotta add Paris...and Lindsey Blohan....I'm sure there are LOTS others....
thanks! if you are a hater like me than you must read dlisted (unless you already do!). that site has me cracking up everyday
ReplyDeletelook how nice to see everyone getting along - who da thunk the anti pete club would finally emerge...
ReplyDeleteI like #3 & #9...
ReplyDelete